The Importance of Using Old-Fashioned Brown Paper: An Open Letter To (Well Intentioned) On-Line Sellers

Brown paper packages on their way to the post office

Photo: Chronica Domus

Dear On-Line Seller,

Thank you so much for mailing my porcelain tureen to me.  Yes, it did arrive safely, but only just.

You see, I was away from my office the day it was delivered and a kindly work colleague received the package on my behalf.  She quickly informed me via email that a frozen cake had arrived, and that said cake was now in the freezer of our work's kitchen.  She had attached a note to the box informing the janitors (who clean and empty our refrigerator/freezer at the end of the week), not to remove the cake until the date of my return, which was at least a week away.

I was now agog to know who would possibly send me a frozen cake through the United States Postal Service, and more importantly, why.  It was not my birthday, nor was it my wedding anniversary.  I was not celebrating anything to warrant a cake.  My head was spinning trying to extract the answer from my ever-failing brain.

Come Monday morning, bright and early, I settle into my office and soon remember the cake.  Down the hallway I trot, towards the kitchen.  I open the refrigerator door and there it was, my frozen cake, tucked into the little freezer compartment, waiting to be devoured.  I make my way back to my desk and attempt to open the icy box.  Upon closer examination, and to my utter astonishment, I quickly deduce that this is no frozen cake.  This  is my recently purchased item, delivered to me in someone else's frozen cake box.

Please, please, dear On-Line Seller, next time you choose to recycle (admirably) a frozen cake box to mail one of your sold items, do remember the importance of wrapping said box in plain old-fashioned brown paper.  That way, there will be no confusion on the receiving end of things.

In this case, no harm was done, and a good chuckle ensued between myself and my work colleague on relaying the story of the box's contents to her.  I can only imagine the disaster waiting to happen if anything other than impervious sturdy porcelain, that can withstand Arctic temperatures, was held within.

Yours,
On-Line Buyer

My French porcelain tureen

Photo: Chronica Domus

This is indeed a true story, and it happened to me just recently.  I thought you too would appreciate the amusement in this cautionary tale, and procure a roll of old-fashioned brown paper the next time you find yourself mailing an item in a cardboard box printed with instructions to "KEEP CONTENTS FROZEN".