I'll get straight to the point. There is a certain expression that simply grates on my nerves each and every time I hear it. Sadly, I've been hearing it a lot lately. I'm not sure if this is because I live in San Francisco where most things have become "hipster cool" and a little too laid-back-casual for the likes of my fuddy-duddy self. Perhaps people are simply becoming lazier with their language?
As you might have guessed from the title of this post, I have a problem with "no problem". What I mean by this is that when I thank someone for their service at a retail establishment or restaurant, the response I'm likely to receive - at least around these parts - is the grating and unfortunate "no problem" instead of the correct "you're welcome". This sends ire and fire through my veins.
I often find myself on the cusp of correcting the linguistic miscreant who just volleyed their "no problem" my way. Alas, I've yet to actually do so. Ultimately, I remember my good manners and just move along. Perhaps this blog post may be my only outlet for tackling the dismal "no problem" problem.
What I'd really like to say is something like this, "No, my patronage is indeed not a problem so please refrain from implying that it may have been. I am, in fact, a paying customer who appreciates the assistance you've just provided, which is why I've thanked you in the first place. No absolution required".
Which brings me to yet another unfortunate use of the English language. Is anyone else tired of hearing the word "guest" instead of "customer" when out and about doing their shopping? If I'm your guest, should you not be treating me as such by sending me home with my basket of shopping gratis? I certainly don't expect guests under my own roof to pay for anything. Please, call me what I am, a paying customer.
In a country where there is seemingly so much emphasis on customer service ("did you find everything you were looking for?", "have a nice day!"), business owners would be wise to train their employees to respond with "you're welcome" whenever a customer expresses their gratitude and appreciation.
Ordering food at restaurants has become a minefield of "no problems". "May I have a glass of water" or "could I substitute ..." is often met with "no problem" instead of "yes", "certainly", or just plain "no".
Please, do tell me, whatever happened to "you're welcome" or indeed the scarcely uttered "my pleasure" which I recall hearing from certain individuals in my youth and, astonishingly, more recently from a waiter to my great delight? Is the "no problem" problem endemic to casual Californians, or do you too hear this infuriating expression in your neck of the woods?
As you might have guessed from the title of this post, I have a problem with "no problem". What I mean by this is that when I thank someone for their service at a retail establishment or restaurant, the response I'm likely to receive - at least around these parts - is the grating and unfortunate "no problem" instead of the correct "you're welcome". This sends ire and fire through my veins.
I often find myself on the cusp of correcting the linguistic miscreant who just volleyed their "no problem" my way. Alas, I've yet to actually do so. Ultimately, I remember my good manners and just move along. Perhaps this blog post may be my only outlet for tackling the dismal "no problem" problem.
"Thank's for the coffees, ma'am"
"No problem You're welcome boys"
What I'd really like to say is something like this, "No, my patronage is indeed not a problem so please refrain from implying that it may have been. I am, in fact, a paying customer who appreciates the assistance you've just provided, which is why I've thanked you in the first place. No absolution required".
Which brings me to yet another unfortunate use of the English language. Is anyone else tired of hearing the word "guest" instead of "customer" when out and about doing their shopping? If I'm your guest, should you not be treating me as such by sending me home with my basket of shopping gratis? I certainly don't expect guests under my own roof to pay for anything. Please, call me what I am, a paying customer.
In a country where there is seemingly so much emphasis on customer service ("did you find everything you were looking for?", "have a nice day!"), business owners would be wise to train their employees to respond with "you're welcome" whenever a customer expresses their gratitude and appreciation.
Ordering food at restaurants has become a minefield of "no problems". "May I have a glass of water" or "could I substitute ..." is often met with "no problem" instead of "yes", "certainly", or just plain "no".
Please, do tell me, whatever happened to "you're welcome" or indeed the scarcely uttered "my pleasure" which I recall hearing from certain individuals in my youth and, astonishingly, more recently from a waiter to my great delight? Is the "no problem" problem endemic to casual Californians, or do you too hear this infuriating expression in your neck of the woods?
We get no problem here... but it's the more upmarket version of the Aussie curse - No Worries. If you want to grind your teeth hard, come here where you'll be told "no Worries" to pretty much everything even in the most formal of settings. If anything You're Welcome is an Americanism that hasn't been widely adopted here. I personally prefer Certainly or Of Course. But it really depends on the professionalism of the staff. We also have a society where everyone is an equal. This has both a charm to it, and can also be an irritation. You can be in a situation where you have staff at a hotel/ restaurant be overly familiar with you chatting and breaking into your conversation because they see themselves as your equal. Certainly, I don't look down on people performing service roles at all, but I also don't want to have lengthy conversations with people as if we are friends/ equals all the time either. It's a fine line!
ReplyDeleteHello Heidi,
DeleteWell, I never thought I'd ever see the words "no problem" and "more upmarket" in the same sentence, but "no worries", well that's a real cracker!
I agree with you and think professionalism has a big role to play here.
I cannot stand "no worries"! Grates on my nerves.
DeleteThank you, Anon., another vote for the "no worries" team. I will have my radar switched on to see how long it will be until I hear it uttered in my neck of the woods.
DeleteHello CD, If you are getting sick of hearing certain English phrases, just come to Taiwan, and the problem will be solved! Seriously, "no problem" seems appropriate when some special service was provided, such as ordering from another branch, or preparing a meal in a certain way.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how often slightly incorrect or inappropriate phrases have a way of becoming overused. I recall an Ogden Nash poem in which he inveighed against the phrase "Have a happy."
--Jim
Hello Jim,
DeleteI'd be willing to bet that the Taiwanese master the English language to such a standard that they would never consider using "no problem" when they mean "you're welcome".
Oh, and "inveighed" is such a wonderful word.
I suppose that "No Problem",-- which is kind of stupidly irrelevant most of the time--might have been implied by the Trevor Howard character in Brief Encounter, after he removed the grit from Celia Johnson's eye. He actually says something like "Anyone could have done it" (and this from a doctor!), in other words graciously deflecting the compliment. ("You're Welcome" is indeed an Americanism which has moved across the pond to the UK in recent years)
ReplyDeleteIn fact the colloquial phrase which always irks me, is "Have a Good One", which has replaced the evergreen, equally meaningless Have A Nice Day. Generally spoken in a slurred rush, it always sounds to my ears like "Have Good Wank".
Which, however well intentioned, is really going too far...
Oh, Toby, thank you so much for making me laugh so hard with your "Have a good one" story. I almost dropped my tea cup upon reading your comment which would have made a frightful mess of my upholstery.
DeleteI've yet to hear the expression volleyed my way but when I do, I shall be thinking of your story with amusement.
It's endemic up here in Saskatoon as well. My husband and I suffered through a meal on Saturday, where everything was "no problem" to our young waitress. I've been tempted since then to contact the restaurant management about this, and after reading your post think I will actually do it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree too about stores and restaurants converting me unwillingly from a paying customer to a guest (who must still pay...).
Rebecca
Hello Rebecca,
DeleteThank you for your comment. I am dismayed to learn that "no problem" has infected your neck of the woods too.
Perhaps you might consider showing this post to the management of your local restaurant in hopes of bolstering the argument of banishing the abysmal "no problem" from the mouths of waitstaff.
Oh, Yes. It's lovely to have such problem-solvers at one's beck, but grows grating, indeed, to be reminded twelve times before dessert.
ReplyDeleteI have, in spite of the subject, most enjoyed this repartee amongst you and your readers---I've been simply lapping up the casual toss-in of "linguistic miscreant" and "patronage," and sighed happily at the charming "inveighed" in a comment.
Preach, Sister!
Hello racheld,
DeleteSo pleased to learn that you are enjoying the comments section of this blog. It really pleases me to read this for I enjoy each and every comment and the dialog that ensues. It makes writing Chronica Domus so very rewarding.
I'm generally not a preachy person and thought long and hard about writing this post but in the end, I just couldn't ignore another "no problem" without getting a few words in of my own. So, here they are on CD.
So true. I thought I was the only person on the planet, whose flesh crept at the words "no problem," "no worries." Some issues are problems, some issues create worry, some issues are not easily solvable. Saying "no problem" or "no worries" is just lazy.
ReplyDeleteHello Anon,
DeleteThank you for your comment. It's good to know that there is someone else out there with a "no problem" problem. I'd not previously encountered "no worries" but after reading Heidi's comment (above), and now yours, I'll likely start hearing it everywhere I go and it will soon be just as grating as "no problem".
This could open up a Pandora's box of sayings that annoy others, like my personal pet peeve when I ask if I might have something and the person says, "go for it" as if I'm an over eager, desperate person. I agree, the "no problem" or "no worries" drives me crazy! When I become internally irritated at this kind of response I immediately blame myself for being "a grumpy old person", which I'm not, honest. :-) The guest comment made me smile. As a former Disneyland employee we were strictly required to call all visitors our guests. I think the idea was that if they were a guest in our "kingdom" we'd be more courteous than if they were simply a customer.
ReplyDeletexo,
Karen
Hello Karen,
DeleteYes, "go for it", yet another horrid expression for the reasons you state.
By the way, your irritation at "no problem" is not age related because I'm happy to say that my teenage daughter is also annoyed by "no problem", and a few others besides (which secretly makes her mother proud).
Thank you for sharing your story about working at Disneyland. It would not surprise me in the least to find out that this odious habit of referring to customers as guests originated at Mickey's doorstep.
"No problem" for "you're welcome" causes steam to billow out of my ears. And being addressed as, "you guys" by people fifty years younger than we. And when I'm a paying "guest" in a store, I don't want to be told to have a "blessed day."
ReplyDeleteMargaret
Hello Margaret,
Delete"You guys" is another infuriating expression that I hear all the time and one I wish would just go away.
"Blessed day" is new to me and has me wondering where in the world you live to hear it so frequently. Please, do tell?
Texas, where I have lived for over forty years without acculturating.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that. Shall be listening out for "blessed day" here in California but I don't recall I've ever heard it uttered here.
DeleteI wish I had your issue with no problem and that is a symptom of living in California bc believe me here in London - everything is a problem and most things need to be checked double checked by a supervisor manager and then they need to have a meeting about it with everyone's mother and they can't have that meeting for another week or so so they say they will get back to you in a month and all you have asked for is that the sauce be served on the side or asked for the starter and the main to come at once. I personally will have to go against the veto of the Australian "no worries" and give that two thumbs up bc while it might grate people who hear it all the time, for me and my friends who have visited Australia we think it a quintessential thing that Aussies have a levity of spirit of no worries - literally. This will be the rare occasion where I will have to go against the flow and say I wish I heard more people said no problem, no worries!
ReplyDeleteI go with the geographical! I love it!
DeleteHello Naomi,
DeleteThanks for the chuckle on the state of affairs in London. A confab just to have sauce served on the side is going a bit too far so I can see how "no problem" would be a welcome addition in this case.
I j just read the other comments......I knew I forgot another terrible substitute for the words "You are welcome"!!!
ReplyDelete"Certainly!" HUH????
I can tell you it is contagious.....it spreads from one hotel to the other here.
I believe in positive reinforcement.....and I love our hotels and restaurants here....this is what I do....everywhere I go! When I hear......"You're welcome"; I say......"how delightful to hear 'your're welcome'!!! It is so rare!"
And the people love to hear that! I must have said it 50 times in the last week in Marblehead, Mass......they still say you're welcome there! Long may it reign!!!
Hello Penelope Bianchi,
DeleteI like your idea of positive reinforcement. If I ever have the pleasure of hearing the correct "you're welcome" in the future, I shall make a point of expressing my delight to the person who happens to be saying it.
My first comment did not make it......oh well. I cannot stand all those subsitutions of "You're welcome" that make no sense whatsoever! I vented! I hope it will be found! Thank you!!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry that your first comment was lost. Unfortunately, I've received emails from a number of readers of this blog that write to tell me that for one reason or another, they are unable to comment, or that their attempts at commenting have been met with failure. Not sure what type of games the Blogger gremlins are playing but I publish every comment I receive and enjoy the banter with my readership so do please persevere through the technical difficulties, thank you.
DeleteI hear you! Waiters are constantly saying no problem here. I realize it's not a problem for them to bring me my food order! Thank you for taking this on. xo
ReplyDeleteHello Jen Lawrence,
DeleteSounds like I'm preaching to the choir on this one. Thank you for taking the time to comment and letting me know that the dismal "no problem" has spread north across the border.
I confess that my daughter uses "no worries" and I wondered where she got that from as she was raised here in Virginia where "yes, sir" and "yes, ma'am" are still taught to the young. Then one of your commenters mentioned its use in Australia. Ah ha! My daughter lived for a year in London where she made friends who were from Australia, New Zealand and South Africa. So must be the Australian " no worries" rubbed off on her.
ReplyDeleteHello slf,
DeleteSo interesting to learn that Virginians are taught to respond with "yes sir" or "yes ma'am", which is rarely heard here in California and sounds so very polite.
I am now convinced that our friends down under are responsible for the dissemination of "no worries", which has yet to be adopted here in SF. Shall be on the look out for it though.
Perhaps I should clarify that she does not use "no worries" in place of "you're welcome" but rather, as a response to a statement such as "oh, we are running late to our meeting with you."
ReplyDeleteSo pleased to learn that standards are still upheld in Virginia, which does not surprise me in the least actually. Virginians are some of the nicest people - and most polite and chatty - my family and I have ever encountered on our travels. We were treated so well and met so many wonderful people when we visited several years ago.
DeleteOh gosh I can't stand this either, we are on the same page CD! I've noticed this "no problem" response the last few years here in Toronto and surrounding areas, sadly it's not going away, in this area anyway. It's just so rude. I worked in the service industry during school (many years ago now) so I have lots of respect for wait staff in restaurants, but imagine saying this instead of You're Welcome, or It Is My Pleasure.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that perhaps this hideous expression is going out of style, on our recent trip to Chicago we did not hear "No Problem" from any of the wait staff or concierge during out stay, I've never had such great service in my life. Really talented people happy in their work, proud of it and using proper language when talking to their customers.
Happy September to you CD xox
Hello DaniBP,
DeleteObviously, I need to visit Chicago and soon by the sounds of it. My family and I noticed the same thing in New York when we visited a couple of years ago. Not a single "no problem" to be heard across the entire UES. It was so evident, I recall we had a whole discussion about it.
Alas, alas, "no problem" is ubiquitous in these parts (metro Boston) as well. I am not sure why because you're welcome and no problem have the same number of syllables. One cannot say "no problem" is an abbreviation like the popular acronyms used so heavily in tweets and text messages but don't get me started on those. A linguist would probably see this as language evolution but I am afraid English language usage is slip siding away.
ReplyDeleteBest,
KL Gaylin
Hello KL Gaylin,
DeleteHow right you are when you write that "no problem" has the same number of syllables as "you're welcome", which baffles me further when trying to understand the unfortunate usage of "no problem".
I almost used the word "evolution" in my post but thought about it a bit more and could not face the fact that yes, indeed, this may just happen to be the case with "no problem". Perish the thought.
I try and remember to say "my pleasure" instead of "no problem."
ReplyDeleteHello Meg,
DeleteWhat a bastion of civility you are, thank you!
Great post and I so enjoyed reading the comments. We recently had a great holiday in Chicago (we're from the Toronto area) but we really noticed the over use of "have a good one".
ReplyDeleteHello Sarah Gouin, and thank you for your comment. So pleased you enjoyed both the subject matter of this post and the comments, and hope you visit this blog again and often.
DeleteCD
I'm very pleased you bring this up. I most certainly agree that the use of "no problem" is egregious and irritating. I'm glad that others object to "no worries," too, which I hear almost as much as, if not more, than "no problem." Both drive me bonkers! As for vocabulary pet peeves, don't get me started on "curated" and "eclectic"...
ReplyDeleteWell, dear Reggie, why am I not surprised that you too are peeved off by the "no problem" problem. And, yes, "curated" and "eclectic" are far too overused and often incorrectly, at least as far as "curated" goes.
DeleteAs we are on the subject of pet peeves, how about "very unique". I once heard a grown man addressing an audience utter these words and all I wanted to do was run up to his microphone and shout "unique dear man, it's unique!!"
Heidi, Just came upon your article. You're right on the money. "No problem" implies the the server is doing us a favor, when, infact, he or she is being paid to serve us. I've, on more than one occasion, politely as I'm capable, explained this to a new millenial. They usually smile, say something like, "Yeah, I get it", and return to saying "No problem" with their next customer. Thanks for the review.
ReplyDeleteHello cardiodoug, and thank you for your comment. I've never gone as far as correcting a "no problem" miscreant but have come close. Perhaps I should just point them to this post in future.
DeleteGood idea. Keep up the good work. If you have the time and ambition, you may want to address the issue of saying "that" in place of "who", it's ubiquitous--journalists, celebrities, scientists, college professors, doctors, janitors, garbage men, you name it, they all say it.
DeleteThank you, cardiodoug. I have a few other linguistic pet peeves that I might just put pen to paper (finger to keyboard, I suppose) and turn this post into a series. Stay tuned.
DeleteSo true Cardiodoug...... I am going to start asking....."was there a problem"? And wait for an answer! I think that is kind.
ReplyDelete"who is that bitch" will be the result. I am going to do it anyway! Perhaps some could turn the tide!
One never knows......my granddaughter said today...."did you know that women could not even vote until the twenties???" Yes. I said.
Yes. We have come a long way. We are about to have the first woman President.
And I will try to abolish "no problem" instead of "you're welcome" We all can do our part!
CD how can one point one to this post.....much better than saying anything....but how does one do that? I am woefully un-talented at tech!
ReplyDeleteOh, that's easy. Just print off this blog post and carry copies with you to be dispensed to "no problem" offenders as and when needed.
DeleteDo let me know how you get on.
Great idea! Such fun!!!
ReplyDeleteEspecially at a time when fun is in short supply!
Fun is an essential component to a happy life and I'm all for it!
DeleteJust found your lovely blog, and as I was reading through, I came upon this post. Normally, I wouldn't bother to comment on an old post, but "no problem" in response to "thank you" is a pet peeve of mine too! And, we are in Michigan, so apparently it's not just California. I also object to be being called a guest in a store. As you say, if I was a guest, would I be expected to pay?! Enjoying your blog, and looking forward to following along.
ReplyDeleteHello Kathy, and welcome aboard!
DeleteThank you for your comment which gives me hope that I'm not alone in my dislike of the "no problem" problem and the entire silly business of being a guest in a retail establishment.
I'm glad to learn that you enjoy the blog and will follow along. I encourage you to comment as often as you like for I read and respond to each and every comment, regardless of how dated the post is.